Erodies

Erodies are the offspring of Phytoplankton and brine shrimp, and like most products of inter-special breeding are sterile. Beyond this, the species is extremely dangerous and has reshaped the modern world, earning it the nickname Apocalyptic Mule of the Sea. An adult male will grow to .5 nanometers in length and beneath a microscope looks like the plaque build up of a zebra, under a microscope.

In the course of evolution, phytoplankton and brine shrimp converted from asexual, homo-special reproduction to hyper-sexual bestiality. This is due to their sudden growth of genitalia. Most theorists claim the mutation was due to pornographic, satellite radio being transmitted into the sea, but the effect has yet to be replicated in a laboratory.

The birth and subsequent plague of erodies began in 2014, and was noted when coasts on every continent were being consumed by the sea. Every oceanic wave that crashed onto the shore swallowed the land it fell upon. Within weeks, cities, such as: San Francisco, New York, London, Sydney, Lima and Singapore, were engulfed in the waves and dissolved in the sea like they never existed. This ended in billions of deaths, and impoverished every country with coastal waters.

The erodies acted as an accelerant in the slow process of erosion. This meant that the process, which formerly took millions of years, could be done in a fortnight. Unable to reproduce, the erodies eventually died out. It turned out the phytoplankton were only using brine shrimp because they wanted babies. Once they had children, their relationship quickly deteriorated.

Coca

Coca is a plant grown in the Andean regions of South America. For centuries, it had been sacred to the indigenous people because it acts as a stimulant to help them combat altitude sickness. Traditionally, they are ingested as dry leaves placed in a person’s cheek, but it can also be taken as a tea. In the mid-19^th century, the stimulant was extracted from the plant and concentrated to form the potent drug Cocaine. This illicit and very excellent narcotic was put into the beverages Coca Cola and Vin Mariani as an herbal supplement. It was consumed in the same way one might have an amino booster added to their fruit smoothie. Due to mass addiction and the death of disco, the drug was made illegal in many countries.

The thirty-seventh president of the United States, Richard Nixon, formed the Drug Enforcement Agency in 1973 to end drug abuse within the country. He had a special vendetta against cocaine, since he found his mother drinking out of a birdbath while under its influence. Thus, he made it a goal of the drug enforcement agency to eradicate the drug in the countries of South America, including, Columbia, Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia.

Bolivia (the rise)

In less than two centuries, Bolivia went from being a neglected, landlocked country to the most powerful nation on Earth. Though rich in natural resources, the country had routinely found itself impoverished by the meddling of foreign powers. The country came into conflict with Chile for access to the Pacific Ocean. There was a conflict of interest with the United States, when it sought to eradicate Bolivia’s coca product. There were also a few airstrikes by England, when Bolivia threatened to cut off the supply of llama milk that Winston Churchill used for his cornflakes.

During the plague of erodies, nearly all countries of the world suffered, and some countries, such as Chile, were wiped from the map. Bolivia, however, was one of the few countries to benefit from the plague. Their country still intact and no longer under the thumb of foreign influence, they found they held more weight within the international community. Bolivia built up its military, became a nuclear power and won the lottery.

After the Coca-Cola War, some foreign bodies, not me, claimed that Bolivia had become the world’s greatest antagonist.

Apocalyptic Mule of the Sea

-see Kevin Costner (Waterworld)

Che Guevara

Che Guevara is largely known as the first asthmatic to get his own brand of cigarettes, but he was also a small-time revolutionary. After some skirmishes in Mexico, Cuba, Congo and the queue at Starbucks, Guevara decided to bring his cause to Bolivia, where he was executed. Much controversy surrounds his death, but it is believed that the CIA provided the information that led to his capture.

In 2016, during a scientific revolution in Bolivia, his body was exhumed and reanimated so he might help them fight the Coca-Cola War against the United States. This backfired because the reanimated Che Guevara was disgusted with Bolivia’s bullying of the United States and the Coca-Cola Bottling Company. When Che Guevara turned traitor, siding with the United States, he was re-assassinated by the BIA.

United States of America (the fall)

After the plague of erodies, the USA found itself greatly weakened. The situation was worsened by their ill-fated decision to move the gold reserve at Fort Knox, Kentucky to Muscle Beach in Venice, California. Stripped of its gold and its power, the United States found itself surrounded by enemies. The stern Uncle Sam that once pointed and said, “We want you!” was now shrugging his shoulders and asking, “What did we do?”

As one of the few world powers left, Bolivia became their greatest foe. Having suffered from American oppression for decades, they spitefully decided to criminalize and eradicate Coca-Cola. In 2016, they began their aggressive campaign by sending a fleet of planes to the Coca-Cola headquarters in Atlanta, Georgia and flattening it along with the city. Thus, the Coca-Cola War had begun.

The war crippled an already weakened country, but a truce was reached. A puppet government was put in place and the United States was forced to switch to Pepsi.